Greek Myth

Here's a myth I wrote for Language Arts. I'd love some feedback!


In a small village by the sea, a boy learns the trade of his father. The boy stares regretfully at the rippling water. Behind him, his dad struggles to teach his son.
“Now Pherin, you need to listen. If you don’t learn now, you’ll never amount to anything,” he lectures. Pherin replies with a loud sigh.
“What if I don’t want to be a fisherman?” he complains.
“Well, what do you want to be?” his father asks. Pherin doesn’t try to hide the smile that spreads across his lips.
“I want to be a hero.”
His father stares at his son’s beaming eyes. He doesn’t know what to think. His family is poor, insignificant, and bears the humble trade of a fisher. And Pherin, the foolish boy, wants to be a Greek hero. A hefty laugh rolls off of his father’s tongue.
“A hero!” he cries. Pherin’s smile melts away. He stands taller, trying to make his slim build a bit bigger.
“Yes. And I’ll be one. You just wait,”
His father chuckles. “Well then, when we get back to the shore, you go ask Zeus to be a hero.”
Pherin, still taken back by his father’s reaction, says, “Fine. I will.”
And he does. The second they reach land, Pherin marches off to Zeus’s temple. He walks in, immediately greeted by Zeus’s enormous stone figure. Then he kneels to pray.
Pherin asks Zeus to give him the strength and courage to become a hero. He prays with such earnestness and faith that great clouds begin to form above the temple. Pherin lifts his head when a clash of thunder jolts the temple. He looks up at the statue. Quietly, yet still distinct and unavoidable, a deep, melodious voice sounds in his head.
“To become a hero, you must prove yourself. I will send a fierce monster for you to fight. Prepare yourself.”
Although the message is short, Pherin can hear it ring in his mind long after the voice has left.
Pherin saunters home. His encounter with Zeus has shocked him into a state of overwhelming gratitude. He admires each delicate detail of nature, marvels over the greatness of the sky, worships the power of the sea, and embraces the fertility of the land. He returns home in a dreamy state. His mother smiles when he sees him enter. Had Pherin been paying more attention, he would have noticed the mocking smiles framed on each of his family’s faces. His younger sister skips toward him.
“So, what did Zeus say?” she asks with a giggle. Pherin only smiles and continues on his way. The setting sun has touched the horizon, sending strokes of golden light to paint the land. Pherin lies on his cot, day dreaming of his life as a hero.
“Tomorrow,” he says, “I become a hero.”

Pherin wakes to the early bird’s annoying chirp. He stretches his stiff arms and legs.
“A hero is strong,” he says. “So, I need to become strong.” Pherin walks toward the harbor. Each morning he sees merchants and fishermen unloading their produce. It’s always looked like hard work. Pherin decides to give it a try. He marches up to the closest merchant and says,
“You need any help, sir?”
A man turns. He takes short, raspy breaths. Sweat already lines the top of his head.
“Sure. What will you work for?”
“A pound of your produce a week. I’ll work every day.” Pherin says. The man nods in agreement.
“What’s your name boy?”
“ Pherin, sir. Yours?” The merchant shakes his head.
“Just call me Remi.”
Remi begins hoisting the boxes of produce onto the back of a wagon. Pherin works along side him. At first the boxes are light. Pherin doesn’t have a problem with moving them. But as the day wears on, the sun soars higher, and the boxes grow heavier. Finally, at high noon, Remi stops.
“Take a break boy. Get yourself a lunch.” Pherin gladly accepts and makes his way home.

Fish has never tasted so good. His family is gathered around a table, and they all seem to be staring at Pherin. Finally his mother speaks.
“What have you been doing? You came home from your trip to the temple, and then you disappear all morning.”
“I’ve been helping a merchant load his produce into a wagon. I need to get stronger. Greek heros aren’t weak,” Pherin explains.
“So, what did Zeus tell you?” asks his sister.
“He told me that I could be a hero if I prove myself. I’m going to have to fight a monster, but first I have to be strong.” Pherin quickly finishes his lunch. Then he walks back to the harbor to finish working for the merchant.

This hard work only lasted for a week. Pherin has grown tired of lifting boxes. He thinks it boring and useless, only making him a little stronger. He was glad when he got a bag of apples from the merchant, but to get another one, he has to work another week.
He does, however, enjoy talking to his friends. He gloats over his manifestation from Zeus, and brags about the battles he will fight when he’s a hero.
Pherin switches jobs regularly, each time saying that there’s a better job out there. He spends most of his time with his friends, and day dreaming of when he’ll become a hero.
But, time doesn’t stop. Months have past since his visit with Zeus. Pherin spends nearly all of his time with his friends. He hardly works, and he seems to have forgotten the promise made by Zeus. He’s become baggage on his family, and hasn’t learned a trade.

A red bull is spotted on the horizon. As it approaches, the fury and anger pent up inside it is released. It thrashes it’s head and charges the village. Chaos sweeps the town. The screams and cries of townsfolk flood the sky. When the news reaches Pherin, his family desperately looks toward him. Pherin isn’t ready. His choices and actions have left him far worse than when he began. He had been given the opportunity, and shirked it. He fearfully shies away, sealing the village’s fate.
Zeus looks down on Pherin, disappointed. He was going to let Pherin die with the rest of the town, but he devised a better plan. He commands the bull to destroy all things in its path apart from Pherin. Zeus watches the bull destroy the town, bulldozing through houses and people alike. In a matter of minutes, the town is reduced to a pile of rubble. Zeus commands the bull to leave. It wanders off, leaving Pherin alone among the forsaken town.
Pherin falls to the ground. His family and friends lay scattered around him.
“Why Zeus? Why did you let this happen? You could have saved them,” he cries. The same voice he had heard in the temple so long ago echoes in his mind.
“I didn’t do this. You, and you alone are responsible. Now, reap the consequences that have been sewn through your decisions.”
Pherin lies among his fallen family, sobbing. He cries unto Zeus, asking him for a second chance. Zeus, however, has turned his eyes elsewhere. There’s no pity nor help left for this shattered boy who has lived a false life.