Diamond

Here is a story I'm writing. I would love to get some feedback. Thank you.

-Jasmyne

p.s. sorry if there are any speech errors or anything like that. I couldn't figure out how to fix it.


Diamond
By Jasmyne Carson

I run into an alleyway, smiling deviously to myself. A warm piece of bread is tucked under my right arm, and I listen to the baker yelling at a confused bystander. I turn sharply to the right and huddle in a corner hidden by the shadows. I hastily tear off a piece of bread and shove it in my mouth. The crust of the bread crunches, and the inside seems to dissolve instantly.. I eat about half of it, and stuff the rest into my bag. I walk back out into the street and look around at the dusty, dry road filled with bustling people. To the side are beggars, holding out their hands and cups, pleading to nobles who walk by. There are shops and building to either side of me, and nobles stop to look for a while before moving on. I hope it’s still there. I make my way to a jewelry stand and eye the diamond dagger on display at the end of the table.
“Can I help you?” asks an old man wearing baggy pants and a stained shirt. His face is kind, and his leathery, wrinkled skin gives him the appearance of a wise man. At first I’m surprised. Most people consider me to be too young to be out in the streets without my parents, or my master. If I was with either, neither would have allowed me to look at weapons.
“How much is that diamond dagger?” I ask.
“That? It’s well over anything your master gave you,” he says. .
Oh. So that’s what he thinks I’m doing. Just running an errand for some lazy nobleman.
“How much,” I say bluntly.
“Two hundred Lira,” he responds.. I have been wanting to buy that dagger for a while, but two hundred Lira is way too much. Bargaining time.
“Two hundred Lira?” I gasp in a shocked voice. “That thing is worth seventy-five Lira. But, I’ll be generous and give you a hundred twenty-five.” The storekeeper leans over.
“Hundred sixty,” he challenges.
“Hundred forty.” The storekeeper pauses, and then looks down.
“Done.” I shuffle in my bag, and pull out a jingling pouch. I take out a large coin, and 4 smaller ones. I toss them on the counter and grab the dagger. Something feels strange about it though. I’ll let Neid look at it. I walk into an alleyway and place the dagger in a sheath hidden under my long sleeve. I leave the backstreet and make my way to my brother’s shop.

“I’ll be with you in a minute,” yells Neid from the back room of his small store. I turn and look at some of his carvings. They all are so beautiful. Some are little painted bowls used for holding jewelry, and others are life size models of people made of marble.
“Oh. It’s you,” he mumbles as he walks through the doorway. “What is it Trig?”
“I need you to look at this diamond dagger. It doesn’t feel right,” I say pulling it from my sleeve.
“Where did you get that?” he asks in a surprised voice.
“I bought it on the way here. It isn’t like I don’t have money,” I retort.
“Trig, having and earning money the honest way are two different things.”
“I know. So… what is it?”
“I don’t know...”Neid contemplates as he picks up another diamond. “…but this isn’t diamond. It’s something else,” he says as he rubs the two together.
“ What?”
“I think it’s like diamond, but tougher. It scratches this diamond easily, and the diamond did next to nothing to it. It’d be better if you kept it. If anything weird starts happening, or people start asking to buy it, bring it back here.” He hands me my dagger, and looks down at me. “Make sure it stays with you. If it’s something valuable, we could use it later on.”
“Thanks,” I say. “Hey, I’m leaving. The Ubolos are getting kind of nosey. I also have to finish up a job in a town nearby.”
“Ok, but just make sure you’re careful.”
“Ok. Bye.”
“Bye.” I close the door and start walking down the street. He’s still the same worry bug he was 5 years ago when Dad got caught. I turn out of the street, and head to one of the city’s walls.

It is just about 3 hours after dusk when I reach the city gate. They have shut them and set the guards. The guards look alert, and their eyes stare into the night looking for any kind of movement. I stand in one of the shadows of a building. The guards look my way, but I’m too small to be noticed.

At least that’s one advantage of being young. But I hate that you’re never taken seriously when you’re young, and kids usually can do things so much better than adults. We can hide in a crack that any other adult would have ignored. Our ears are more sensitive, and our eyes are more developed. The only problem is that no one takes us seriously. If I was caught, the only thing the guards would do is stuff me in a building until they could sell me off to a noble. Of course that would be illegal, but no one would care enough to stop them. If I was an adult, they would have at least considered me some kind of threat.

I slide along the wall until I’m to the side of the guards. I pick up some rocks, and throw them over their heads.
“Did you hear that?” asks one of the guards.
“Yeah,” the other guard says. “I’ll go see what it is.” The guard slowly pulls his sword free of the sheath and walks into the darkness. The other guard straightens his posture, and nervously looks around. I walk out into the light, and make myself look innocent and weak.
“Whose there?” bellows the guard. I don’t answer. I just stop in front of the guard and lower my head. “Oh,” he says. He lowers his sword, and walks toward me. I sprint, and jump. My hand forms a fist, and I raise my middle knuckle slightly. I slam it into the man’s temple. He swerves, and then falls. I walk over to him, and take the keys clipped to his belt. I walk over to the gate, unlock it, and walk out onto the dry, open plain.
“Nothing there. Probably just…” says the returning guard. I turn around, and watch the pale faced guard stare blankly at his unconscious companion.

Mistborn

Mistborn is the first book in a trilogy written by Brandon Sanderson. It takes place in a world where the Lord Ruler dominates. In this world, there is a power known as allomancy. Allomancy is the power that allows someone to swallow certain metals, and then burn them to give off a certain power. Iron pulls on any nearby metal, steel pushes. Tin enhances senses, pewter enhances physical ability. Brass soothes emotions, zinc riots them. Copper hides allomancy from other allomancers, and bronze reveals them. In this world, most of the nobility is granted the privilege of allomancy. If a person can use only 1 metal, they are called mistings. If they can use all the metals they are called mistborn. However, there are no allomancers that can use more than 1 metal unless they are mistborn.

The nobles rent skaa, or slaves, from the Lord Ruler. The nobles use the skaa for working in the fields, mining, or working in the forges. The sky is black and ash falls from the sky daily. At night, the mists approach. The Garrison is the Lord Rulers army, and is sent out when a major threat takes form. Obligators are the Lord Rulers police force. Their job is to hunt out the rebels and handle contracts and agreements with merchants and nobility. They have intricate tattoos around there eyes. They are vicious and show no mercy. Inquisitors are worse. They hunt down any skaa allomancers and kill them and all there family. They also act as the Lord Ruler’s advisors. They have metal spikes driven into there eyes and they wear black robes. The Lord Ruler gives them the power of a mistborn allowing them to control the central domain under his instruction.

In Luthadel, the capital of the central domain, a street urchin named Vin is discovered by a rebel team that is planning to overthrow the Final Empire. Kelslier, the team leader, discovers Vin’s ability as a mistborn and teaches her about trust and shows her that there is still good and hope left in the world. While in the rebel team, Vin trains as a mistborn, and quickly becomes one of the most effective members on the team. However, all the training in the world couldn’t prepare her for what was coming.

I loved this book, and recommend it to everyone. The author is a friend of my parents, and I didn’t realize how awesome his books were till I read this one. I’m already more than half way through the second book, The Well of Ascension. I’m sure that the third book will be the best. I can hardly wait for it to come out.

Glasses

Yesterday at gym, our coach lost control. It was a normal day. 50 jumping jacks, stretches, 16 pushups, and 5 pull ups. When we finished, we went over to the coaches desk. We all listened to him talk about what we were going to do that day, and then lined up at the door and got ready to leave. Just then, our coach bellowed, 

“Who stepped on my glasses!?” his glasses were brown with dark shades, and at the edge of the lens, the ear piece was hanging in an awkward position. “Who was standing on the stage behind me!?” he roared. On boy raised his hand and then said the names of the people who were on the stage. “Well one of you doofuses stepped on my glasses.” He then flung his glasses down, forcing one of the lenses to pop out. He threw a threatening glare at all of the students. I could tell those glasses were expensive. Then he knelt down, picked up the glasses, and threw them in the garbage. Nobody talked on the way out, but after we had ran our lap, he acted as if nothing had happened. The next day, however, he had a new pair. This time he kept them on his desk. Someone asked how much they were. He said $250 as if it was no big deal.

Creepy Jams

I shoot up from my bed as sweat pours down my face. I look around, fearing that one of the coal-black shadows in my dream would look up at me through the darkness. I turn on my lamp. Nothing is there. All I can hear is the wind howling outside. Every muscle in my body is tense, and I’m ready to burst out screaming. Hours seem to pass, and I’m still sitting upright in my bed trembling with fear.

I start to hear faint, almost unreal music. It’s sad, and has no particular melody, and it sounds like it’s being played on solid metal. Each note echoes through the house. I get out of bed, and start up the stairs. Each step I take, the music gets louder. At the top, I peek over the counters. Nothing is there. So I walk through the kitchen, the music now sadder, and much louder.

I walk into the dining room. As I enter, I see three strange, deformed, metal statues holding instruments. Their long, thin arms moving slowly to the beat of the music. Their faces are long, and show no emotion at all. Although the music is sad and not appealing in any way, something about it holds me in place. Time passes. The statues end their song. They move back to their original positions.

I just sit there. The sad song plays over and over in my head. I make my way back down to my room, but I don’t sleep. The rest of the night, I lay in bed listening to the statue’s song that is still ringing in my ears.

Ugh!

We started gymnastics on Monday. The first day was fun, but I ripped both my hands on the bars. When I woke up on Tuesday, I could barely move. Everywhere hurt. Then before bed, I tripped down the stairs, and landed on my toe.

When I woke up the next morning, I could barely walk. Gymnastics that day was difficult. The tape I’d put around my rips started slipping down so I was constantly pulling them back up. During floor, I couldn’t run very well, and when our teacher helped us with the back hand spring, I kept tweaking my back. At home, I was limping more than before and I felt like collapsing. 

This morning, I was 10 times worse. I can’t move my arms without my shoulders hurting. I can barely walk, and my rips ripped, again. And, I’m going swimming today with my two friends, Lily and Johanna. I hope this summer isn’t going to be like this every week. If it is, I’ll probably be sore for a long time.

Queen of Sorcery

Queen of Sorcery is the second book in the series The Belgariad. In this book, Garion discovers that he is a sorcerer, or in other words, he discovers his ability with the will and the word. In this fantasy world, the way people use sorcery is through the will and the word. If they want something to happen, they build up their will, and then speak the action they wanted to happen. Like if Belgarath, one of the best sorcerers in the world, wants to move a rock, he would gather his will, and then speak something like ‘move’. If he had enough will focused on moving the rock, it would move.
The first time he uses the will and the word on purpose is when a Grolim named Chamdar slaps Aunt Pol, Garion’s guardian, across the face. Garion was filled with so much anger that he ran over and slapped Chamdar. It might not of seemed like a bad thing, but he had poured all of his will into making Chamdar catch fire. He then spoke the word ‘burn’ and Chamdar’s face burst into flames. Garion hated to watch Chamdar burn, and wanted to stop it. Aunt Pol told him to stay at it, because if he didn’t, Chamdar would kill Garion as soon as he stopped. After he had died, Garion promised that he would never use sorcery again. Aunt Pol kept telling Garion that he couldn’t stop using sorcery, because once it’s out, you can’t bring it back in. Throughout the rest of the book, Garion tries to deny that he is a sorcerer. Everyone keeps telling him that he needs to learn how to control it, but he doesn’t listen.
I would recommend this book to anyone who likes adventure, and doesn’t mind gore. I think that this book is perfect for a person like me. I absolutely loved reading this book, and am very excited to read the next one.

Graphic Design

One of the projects that I'm doing is copying magazine covers using photoshop. This is the first one I did. This exercise teaches me a few things. One. How to use photoshop. Two. Design principles 101. I'm sure that there are other things I'm learning as well. This is a picture we took while camping on Molokai.

Magician's Gambit

Magician’s Gambit is the 3rd book in the series The Belgariad. In this book, Garion, the main character, finally accepts the fact that he is a sorcerer, and that he needs to learn how to control his power. Garion and his group leave Ce’Nedra with the Ulgos to go into Cthol Murgos to retrieve the orb of Aldur. Before they leave, they add one more person to the group. His name is Relg. Relg is very religious to his god UL, and has a hard time leaving Ulgos. At first, the group had to stop often to let him pray. You could say that he is a little too caught up in his religion. When they get to Cthol Murgos, they start to look for the magician Ctuchik. Ctuchik is an enemy of Belgarath’s. They have been trying to kill each other for a long time. Later in the book, they have a duel. If you want to find out who wins, your going to have to read the book.
Many parts in this book are kind of gory, and creepy. I don’t think it’s for people who don’t do well with gore. I personally loved this book. Every sentence I read held me in. This book is like a roller coaster, because at some points it’s calm, and then incredibly intense in others. As always, I loved reading this book, and I’m dying to read the next one.

Ender's Game

I've been reading a lot lately, and just finished Ender’s Game. I've heard it's being made into a movie. Ender's Game is written by Orson Scott Card. It has won a Hugo, a Nebula and is on the New York Times Bestselling list. It is about a small boy named Ender who is sent to a battle school at the age of 6. In this school, they play a game. The object of the game is to freeze all of your opponent’s team members. Then you open your enemies gate, and walk through it. In this game, Ender learns how to strategize and lead. After about 4 years in battle school, he is put into commanding school. There he learns about the bugger war.
There are many great parts in this book, but I think that one of my favorite
parts is when Ender sends out a message to everyone saying ‘I LOVE YOUR BUTT. LET ME KISS IT. -BERNARD’. Bernard is, or was, a bully to everyone, especially Ender, so he wrote that to make Bernard look like some weird, dumb kid.
I absolutely loved reading this book and could barely put it down. A ton of people say that it’s probably the best science-fiction book ever written. I definitely agree with them. Everything that happens is described in immense detail. Every part of the story is needed. There isn’t anything that could, or should be cut out. The book can be very funny, but can also be packed with intensity. I would recommend this book to anyone, and especially people that like adventuresome, science-fiction books where anything could happen.

Moorchild

I read a book called Moorchild. It is written by Eloise McGraw and has won a Newberry Award. It’s about a moor folk girl named Moql, who’s half human and half folk. The moor folk think of her as a threat, because she can’t wink out, or in other words disappear, and can’t shape shift. So they send her to live with the humans. As a human, her name is changed to Saaski. When she turns 11, she starts to remember her life in the mound. As she remembers more, she discovers that her human parent’s real daughter is living in the mound. She decides to rescue their child.
Moql, or Saaski, is very mischievous, and loves to go out onto the moor. Everyone in her village picks on her because she’s different. Her eyes change color with her moods, and she loves to play the bagpipes. I think that the author did an amazing job describing Moql.
One of my favorite parts in the book is when Moql learns about being a Folk, and is going home to tell her parents. On her way home, all the people in the village attack her and throw salt and metal at her. Because she is half folk, the salt burns, and the metal makes her small and feel sick. When the author describes this part, he uses words that pull you into Moql’s situation. You can see the blurry images and feel the burning of salt, and the sickness from the metal.
I recommend this book to everyone. It’s a calm book, but holds you in, and is incredibly descriptive. I can see, hear, and smell all that’s happening when I’m reading it. This book is perfect for someone who likes page-turning fantasy books. I couldn’t put it down until I had finished.

Getting Up

Typically, this is how my morning goes. My mom comes down. She turns on the light, and says,“Time to get up.” I pull the blanket over my head and try to fall back asleep. 10 minutes later... she comes back down. "Get up guys!" Nani throws a fit. Because of the screaming and the light in my face, Mia and I get up. I hate the light.

Sometimes I think about taking out the lightbulb, but that's out of the question. I’ll probably just get a sleeping mask and some earplugs.

The Cat

It was a family gathering. All us kids were outside playing. About an hour passed, and we were tired. As we headed inside, I thought I saw something moving behind the rose bushes. I decided to check it out and Mia and my cousin Joe followed.

It was a kitten. He was orange, and very small. He seemed to like us and he let me pick him up. I wanted to show my dad. Maybe he would let us keep him. We knocked on the door, and Uncle Goose answered. We showed him the cat. He told us that it was probably a stray, because it didn't have a collar. We checked around the neighborhood, but Nobody seemed to know who the cat belonged to. We went back to the house. The little kids wanted to pet the cat, so I put him down on the porch. The cat wanted to get inside, and he crouched near the door. Every time the door opened, he would stand up and try to squeeze in. I told my uncle to keep the door cracked, but he opened it too far, and the cat dashed in.

I yelled. "There's a cat in the house!" The cat made his way into the kitchen. Pandemonium proceeded. Mom went ballistic. She hates cats, or anything with fur. Amidst the chasing and screaming, the cat didn't want to stick around. My dad was not happy. So I guess, no kitty for me.

My mom says we can’t get a cat right now, but maybe in a few years. When I first heard that, I was very excited. Then she added, “...when you start college.”